Showing posts with label Coretan hidupku. Show all posts

cuti tahun baharu cina telah pun abis..

These few days are so retarded to me...
There are plenty of good things but not to forget about bad things...
But those bad things are tend to be remembered since it was so painful.

First of all, the semester break already started. It's about 2 weeks passed now.
But i'm just sit home and counting days to get a job.
Technically i can say that i'm so boring now.
And it makes me so uncomfortable..

Then I got a problem with my love one AGAIN. I’m so sorry dear because I mad at u. I know that this is not me; being an anger person. I tried to calm myself down and be myself but I can’t. I know that you are hurting. I am very sorry for hurting you but do give me some time and I promise I’ll be myself again.

When i thinking back of what we had been through, i know that you really loves me..
But how could you suddenly turn your back on me?
It's so hard for me to accept this situation. You always said that the problem came from you..
You know that i will never do the same to you. No matter what happened. It will always be NEVER!

I realize that you are not happy now.. thinking about problems and about your feeling..
I'm so sorry.. I just need you.. Only you Elle.. I can't do anything wise when I felt I'm not with you..
Please try to understand me and give me a chance to prove that i really love you and i'm so special for you..
Atleast just stay with me till the day that i die..

Aku pun tak tahu pe yg tlh aku lalui skg..
rase mcm serabut gler ar..
aku sgt2 brharap sume akn jd mcm sblm nie..
sb aku sgt2 rindukan die..

aku cuba utk brjauhan dr hp aku..
cuba utk tak bwk hp aku bila aku keluar..
tp dlm hati, trase nk je blk awal sb masih brharap die akn msg..
tp ble blk.. die xde msg pun..

sumenye dh x mcm dlu..
aku rindukn saat2 lalu..
saat mana aku happy sgt2 n xrase sedih pun..
tp dlu pun..die bkn bahagia dgn aku..

Kini aku dh trbiasa brsendiri..
memujuk ati sndri yg sedih ini..
semua yg trjadi ni wat aku semakin lupa diri..
kan lbh baik kalau sume ni xpnh trjadi..

Aku mencari cinta sejati..
seorang yg boleh menyintai aku sorng je sepenuh hati..
bkn cinta yg brkongsi2..
aku perlukan kau disisi..

Aku ingin lihat kau bahagia..
tak pernah terdetik utk igt pada pmpn lain..
tp apakan daya..
kekasih lama sntiasa dihatimu tak pernah pudar..

biarlah aku mencari ketenangan..
aku taw aku hanya persimpangan..
antara kekasih lama dan kekasih kemudian..
namun cintaku terhadapmu tak terabadian..

Die seorang perempuan yang brjaya menawan hati saya..
Seyes sbnrnye saye pun masih tak percaya lagi smpai skg..
yang saya telah jatuh cinta..
Dan sukar saya percye yg die tlh menyintai saya..

mula2 kenal dlu, mmg saya anggap die sbg kawan je.. kawan baik saya..
tp ble dh lame knal.. die ada semua ciri2 seorng perempuan yang saya idamkan.
Die sgt2 baik hati, caring, baik n die ni tak macam perempuan lain yg setengahnya hanya mahu kikis diut lelaki je.. oh saya dh byk kali jmpe perempuan mcm ni..
Dia jgk leh sabar dgn saya yg kdg2 a bit out of mind.. huhu..
N the best thing bout us ialah kitorg tak pernah bergaduh lagi walaupun dh lame knal.. dh nk 2 thn kitorg knal.. tp bru brjumpa hujung tahun lepas..

mcm2 bnde kitorg dh lalui.. walaupn dlm jarak jauh..
kitorg trpisah sejauh lbh kurng 45km.. huhu..
tp bak kate org.. jauh dimata, dekat dihati..
tu yg buatkn saya sntiasa merindui die..

Yang pasti skg, saya sgt2 bahagia dgn die..
xpnh2 saya rase bahagia sgt2 sblm ni.. tp saya dpt rase bila dgn dia..
saya amat mencintai die..
die slalu bg semangat kt saya.. die segalanya buat saya..
Dan skg ni.. saya xsanggup kehilangan die..
kerna saya dh jmpe org yg saya idamkan..
bak kate org.. peluang tak dtg selalu.. kdg2 ianya dtg once in a lifetime..
so, saya taw.. saya xmungkin akan jmpe gadis yg baik,cntik n comel mcm die lg dah pasni yg snggup berkongsi kasih dan hidup dgn saya..

I love you so much sayang..
i need you always..
and i miss you badly..
My Maria Ellena..



Till then,
-Bart87

ntahla hari nie aku sgt2 sedih..
bermacam2 masalah membebani aku..
dugaan pelbagai ragam menimpa diriku..
lepas satu, satu..

Aku cuba kuatkan diri ini..
tp jujur aku katakan bahawa aku kesepian..
org yg slalu mendengar masalahku pn tgh dlm dilema..
tak mungkin aku akn tambahkan kesensaraan dia..

aku merenung diluar jendela..
trase lemah utk bangun dari lena..
aku mcm nk tdo je..
sampai september menjelma..

awk..
jgn kusutkn kepala awk tu..
sy xske tgk awk dlm mslh n menangis..
kalau tiada jalan lain, sy sanggup pergi..
biarlah sy sorng je yg taw apa yg aty sy rasai..

awk..
kalau dah jodoh, ianya xkn kemana..
mmg btol.. cinta xleh dipaksa..
tp skg awk dlm situasi terpaksa..
walaupn awk taw hubungn awk dgn die mmg xkn kemana..

awk..
buatlah keputusan yg trbaik dlm semua aspek..
sy sntiasa sokong dgn keputusan awk..
walaupn ianya mungkin tak memihak pd sy..
tp sy tetap sygkn awk smpai bila2..



till then,
-Bart87

ckp apa pun tak gune lagi..
bnde dah jadi pun..
Lebih kurang 3 hari tak jumpa dan tak bercakap dengan gf yang paling setia..
kami even xcntct antara 1 sama lain..
die terlantar di hospital.
tahla.. xtawu cmne condition die skg..
hanya doa yg mampu diberikn buat dirinya..
trase sgt brsalah pd die..
maafknlah diri ini sayang..

kau la teman disaatku duka..
kau la penghibur disaatku hiba..
kau la pembantu disaatku tak cukup masa..
kau la segala-galanya..

kini ku merinduimu..
tanpamu disisi aku merasa kehilangan..
aku trase sgt2 susah bila bersorngn..
dan ianya jd 1 pengajaran..

cintailah gf kita lbh dr kita mencintai diri kita.
kerna bla terjadi sesuatu,
menyesal kemudian tiada guna.

I really miss u darl.. :(


till then,
-Bart87

Most of people wondering what is the meaning of 'Khubaib'
To tell you frankly, I didn't know it either..

But some of my friend who also 'Khubaib' give their opinion about it.
One man told me that it means a clever & intelligent man and another told me that it means Ruler or Sultan.

But yet again, it is not exact meaning.. But all i can confirmed that Khubaib is a name of sahabi (Prophet PBUH companion). Or in Malaysia, we call it sahabat Rasulullah SAW.


His name was Khubaib Bin Abi. Prophet PBUH send him to teach Islam under Ashim bin Tsabit but they were arrested. Ashim bin Tsabit ask them to fight but all of them died except Khubaib bin Adi and Zaid bin Datsanah.

Then Khubaib Bin Abi had been transfer to Mekkah. He been surrender to Quraisy people as the lost reward in Badar War. Quraisy put a death sentence to Khubaib Bin Abi.

Before he's been punished, he wish to perform 2 rakaat prayer. Then he said, ' If it is not because scared of die, then i will add another rakaat'.

Quraisy people ask him, 'how about if we exchange you with Prophet PBUH to be at your position(Waiting for death sentence)?'. Then he replied 'For Allah, I won't let myself stay healthy with my family, while Prophet PBUH don't.'

Finally he is dead under death sentence by Quraisy.


It is really a sad story.. But He is so brave. I admire him so much and i hope i will be like him as well. Insyaallah..

Till then,
-Bart87

Ptg kwn aku ajak kuar jln..
Nk tgk wayang katenye..
Pnye aku tnggu kete kancil silver beliau tb2..
Mazda RX-8 yg dibawa!
Kitorg g sunway tgk cite 2012..
Mmg aku a bit trkezut n jelez..
Mane x nyer.. Tu kete fav aku wayh..
Mamat tu plak sebaya dgn aku..
Ko tnggu la 1 hr nnt..
Aku nk pakai gak kete cm ko..
N mybe lbh best dr tu.. haha!!
Pic nnt aku bubuh..
Skg still trase taksub dgn kete ko td.. :D
Tnggu la end of next year aku nk kuarkn kete bru gak..
kete ape??
xleh gtaw lg.. tgh dlm plan. But for sure setaraf or mybe lbh mahal la..
Just wait n see.. :)

When we talk about new year, most of us will think about countdown, celebration, their new year hope and whatsoever..

It is crawling inside my mind too.. haha!
Oh i just cant wait for 2010 to begin soon..
Lots of plan to be made and to be done.

One thats for sure is i want to stay focus on my study. yea..
And hopefully next year also will mature me a bit more than this year.
I want to achieve every single thing that i wanted..
Just like when i'm a young boy a long time ago..
when i used to work harder each passing days to fulfill my needs..

Another thing is i want to start a new life..
Begin a new chapter of my life..
a life without an alibi..
a life without a backstabber..
a life without a coherent..
a life without a doubt
and a life without any disturbance at all.

Cuz I wanna be what i wanna be.
I am Bart.


Till then,
-Bart87

mlm td aku mengamuk besar.
knp?

argh!! aku xkesahla nape..
but for sure bnde2 cni membuatkn aku morale down.
aku pnye smngt pn da back to the earth.
bodo btol la fitnah nih!!
sgt2 effect aku pnye study progression ok!

aku jarang mengamuk. tp bnde nih mmg aku sgt2 trase..

%^&*!!!!

mood : bengang, sedih & serik.

-bart87

Ntahla..
past few days nie aku rase cm lonely plak..
xtaw la..
da la dgn assignment n test bertimbun..
next week da final exams..

dikala tgh lonely nie,mula la trkenang blk bnde yg da lepas..
tringt blk prob2 aku..
tringt blk org2 yg pnh wat aku happy..
Aku rindukn kamoo~!!

N dgn keje yg brtimbun nie,
tb2 aku trase aku da bkn mcm diri aku..
trase cm diri nie da xtrurus..
hello!!!
Bart yg aku knal ialah seorg yg leh uruskn sumenye!!
walaupn byk keje..,
kalau diajak kemana pn,leh jer bahagikn masa..
tmbh2 lg ble org2 yg aku syg mengajak aku..
but now cmne?
keje pn mcm xkn abis jer..
dok mengharapkn org lain je bantu aku..

apa da jd dgn aku?
aku yg sengal!!
mampu ke ko score sem nie bart?
seyes aku xcaya ko mampu wat kejutan lg this tyme la bart..
kau mmg sengal la bart!!!

-bart87

Sorry all cz its been ages i didnt update my blog. Jgn marah.. Nnt kene jual! :P

Oh...this few days sgt2 memenatkan..
n upcoming days nie lg la penat. huh!
da mcm buruh kasar jdnye..:P

antara yg blum settle for this week..
1)writing report utk BEL msti disiapkn hari nie gak! (wednesday)
2)presentation utk report BEL next week.
3)script utk lakonan kelas german sblm jumaat.
4)lakonan utk kelas german kene submit jumaat dpn
5)test lektrik sok( thursday)
6)siapkn assignment Catia b4 next monday
7)test agama next monday
8)study utk test CAD.
9)assignment fluid yg still xtaw soalan lg..:D

hurm.. n the most important thing to do is study fer ma final exams!!
adeh.. ada paper on 29oct, 31oct, 1 oct n 8oct.
wish me luch yea~
n best wishes goes to u yg nk amek final exam too~

till then,
-bart87

Hari nie ialah sehari sebelum hari raya..
Ramai yg bershopping sakan..
Td g la Kompleks PKNS Shah Alam..
Pergh.. Punyela pnoh.. smpai parking pn dah xikut undang2..

Tgh syok mood nk raya..
Td kul 9.30mlm, saya bersama family nk g la jln2.
Tyme nk msuk kete, tb2 pintu depan belah penumpang xleh buka..
Saya kluar la g check..
Pnye la sakit aty!!!
kemik xhengat dunia.. xtaw plak yg sy memiliki jiran yg mcm haram..
Td sy kuar kul 8.30mlm, okay jer lg.. Nie msti baru kene..
Pndai langgar kereta org, pndai plak nk blah kan??
Aisey.. Pttnye pndai langgar, pndai la nk byar ganti rugi..

Drp mood sy happy jer, now da xde mood dah..
Seyes mmg saya sakit aty..
Bru igt raya thn nie will be the best raya ever..
Yela.. I got a new friend bbrapa hari sblm raya nie. :)
tb2 my only car nie da remuk..
Adeh.. brape ratus plak nk kene kuar..

mood mlm nie cm nk bwk kete tue n nk langgar sume kete2 jiran!!
Haha.. sgt kejam saya nie kan? :D
tp ble pk blk..
Ade hikmah disebalik pe yg trjadi..

thats all..
maybe i will be fine later.. Insyaallah..
Selamat Hari Raya kpd sume pembaca..
akhir kata dari saya..

"Sepuluh jari disusun, seribu kemaafan dipinta, sejuta duit raya sy jgnla lupa. :P"

-bart87

Esok hari rabu and xde class for the whole day~ YAY!! :p
Finally dpt gak berehat sebentar bersama kitkat.. hehe..
Study yg byk tertinggal da cket2 dicover..
But i know next week will be super busy from this week with tests, assignments, fasting and etc..
Erm.. Tp still xsempat nk g shopping.. anyone nak temankan?
haha..

mood : energetic mcm nak lari 1 usa~ haha..
song : 'we will rock you' by Queen
p/s : selamat berpuasa kpd semua yg setia membaca blog ini.. Tanpa anda, siapalah saya.. :D

I just read bout it few hours ago..
N yes i believe in karma too..
What comes around must go around..
Thats why i never feel regret with what i've been through..
U wanna leave me alone?
Just go ahead..
But i know someday u will come back..
U can deny it but u cannot get away with it..
And i am really sorry.. Im not gonna wait for you anymore..
U got those chances but u missed it and now u have to missed out..
And last reminder to u.. Im not desperate in girl..
I can have any girl that i wish for..
But im not like u.. I just care bout the one that i love..
Obviously im not a player like u.. ;)

Roger out~
-bart87

p/s : bace cite nie sambil dgr lagu 'things dont always turn out that way - The calling' ye.. ;)

Every night before im going to bed,
i always keep thinkin of something..

maybe many things perhaps..

but the biggest thing is i never do anything right..

always bad in ur vision.. :(

but u never know that u are everythin' to me..

toss and tilt me and u will discover everything that im dying for..

that i always wanna say to you that 'i love you'

but i cant and i will never have the brave to say it out..

and maybe things dont always turn out that way..

so, let it always be inside my mind..

maybe forever..

cuz i know u will never like it..

i wont say it again..

just like 'my dear' n 'miss' thingy..

Because things dont always turn out that way..

-Bart87

Hari ini merupakan hari terakhir cuti H1N1 UiTM semalaysia..
Not much that i've been through during this holiday..
Erm.. I still waiting for u to msg or call me..
I just keep on waiting and hoping..
But tahla ble agaknye u will cntct me back..
kdg2 trase cm da xde harapan jer..
u did said that u benci sgt2 kt i..
Aku bru jer tego die kt ym.. But no reply..
only a short reply sayin 'hi' pn da cukup utk watkn aku happy..
tapi.. XDE PUN..

Ade sumber ckp u da rapat with sum1..
Erm.. tahla.. xtaw nk caye ke x..
But dlu when u r with me pn, u did tell me a bit bout him..
u ckp nk bwk die jln2 kt mid since ur college da dkt dgn mid..
n u did said die bgs..bertanggungjwb.. but in ur story tue, i think he is just poyo nk control cz da wat sumthin stupid.. bwk lelaju n then org hmpir langgar die.. if die btol2 brtnggungjwb, die xkn bwk lelaju kalau nk jaga anak dara org.. Tp pd mata u, die bgs..
Yg i nie?? nothin yg u compliment except i nie psycho n bangang..

erm.. I guess i have to continue my life without her again..
mybe u just like a junction or maybe 1 perhrntian dlm idup aku yg enggan melihatku lagi..
oh i really need sumone to talk right now.. :(
I really miss ur adorable smile A..
n adakah aku nie masih ada dlm kamus hidupmu??

-Bart87

song's mood : Masih ada - Ello

Pagi nie aku ke kelas..
tyme tgh syok belaja..
tb2 lect ckp uitm ditutup seminggu..
aduh..aku tb2 trase cm xnk cuti..
cz aku bru je tanam azam utk study hard n lupekn masalah2ku seketika..

bg aku, peluang utk dpt mood study nie bkn selalu dtg..
n mybe aku bakal mensia2kn peluang ini..
rugi kan?

ckp psl peluang..
aku tringt kata2 kwn karibku dulu..
'kalau kita mencintai seseorg, kita akn cuba utk tak memaki n memarahi dia..'
die suh aku simpan ayat nie btol2.. katanya tue la petua utk mencintai org.. ntah la.. aku amat merindui dia.. kami da lame lost cntct.. Bile la agaknye nk terjumpe number die blk..
N lg 1 pesanan die..
'peluang hanya dtg sekali.. kalau dtg 2 kali tue beerti nasib kita baik.. Tp xmungkin akan ade peluang ke3.'

Ayat2 die sntiasa aku sematkn dan aku amalkan.. but now aku da ilang segala2nya..
Hati aku dah mula kosong.. kosong bagai warna jernih yang kian kelabu.. kelabu kerna akan kubiarkan ia smpai berdebu..


Mood song : Masih cinta - Kotak, Cela - Boneca

-Bart87

Yesterday was my 22nd birthday.. But im not so old..hehe..
erm..Thanks for those yg wish my bday especially my family n friends.. Im so glad to receive it eventhough Shahril lmbat bbrape jam.. But its okay.. Atleast ko igt gak kt aku yer..
Erm.. Agak ramai yg wish me n give me present.. Thanks yer.. :D
Maz n Nai.. both of u never forget my bday.. Tp Maz.. I waiting a present from u.. da brape tahun u xpnh bg taw.. hehe.. :P
Nways, there someone yg aku sgt2 brharap die akn igt to wish me.. But aku tnggu smpai kul 12mlm pn still xde single msg dr die.. hurm..
Mybe aku da xberguna pd die.. I really2 sorry cz making u mad.. But seyesly.. i just hope u send me a short msg 'happy bday', that will make me fly to the moon.. Tp xde pun.. Erm.. mybe its all my fault.. Tahla.. I do tried so hard to solve our prob.. But i sntiasa xbrjaya.. forgive me ye.. I xtdo yesterday cz thinkin of what i've done.. Erm.. mmg i slh.. mybe i terdesak nk baik dgn u semula.. I wont disturb u lg dah.. i think i have to make some sacrifice.. Hope u will understand knp i doing all this yg u ckp 'psycho' nie.. n pagi td u ckp u sgt2 benci i.. Erm.. I da xleh watpe.. Lg i pujuk, lg u benci.. nie la sshnye when i already go feeling to someone.. im thinkin bout her 24/7.. hope that i can hear she is happy.. Tp aku cm bg die lg tension jer.. adeh.. i really dnt knw what to do.. Maybe sumday, i will recover back.. mcm tyme u leave me alone dlu.. Insyaallah..
Till then..

-Bart87

Tomorrow i will start a new chapter of my life..
A new semester..
with a new car..
a new hope..
a new environment...

But being a 4th semester degree student always shaking out my legs..
Oh i'm a bit nervous actually.. This is a critical semester.. with two killer subjects waiting to slaughting me.. It will be vital.
And in this semester also I will be apart from A.. A is moved out to another place.. Erm.. I guess there is no more dinner together after this.. hurm.. Hope u will be comfortable there..
I always pray for ur success and ur happiness even when u r not with me..
And i do will miss u.. but i'm so afraid to tell u.. Cz u did mad at me once bcz of that..
But what i know is i really miss ur beautiful smile and ur adorable laugh.. :)
For Nely, Be a good junior ye.. Hope u wont do the same mistake as mine..
To chai, kimi,n all their brotherhood.. We will do our best to score this sem.. No more bad result.. N goodluck for urs Dynamics...:D
And last but not least..
To my big bro.. Welcome home.. Its been awhile i didnt meet u..
I just cant wait for tommorow come..